Doula Blog
All about Pregnancy, Birth, & Postpartum
What to bring to the hospital/birth center:
Patience: The exact length of labor is unknown. For first time mothers labor is typically longer than women who have birthed before, but that too can vary. My tip would be to assume it will take a long time. Let the medical team focus on the clock and, as much as you can, dive into laborland with your partner. This will relieve you of unnecessary stress and let you be more present. Learning the stages of labor is helpful but know that most people forget this during the heat of the moment - that is okay! You aren’t supposed to be a medical professional- just lean into each moment and help her through each breath and each contraction. That being said, most midwives and doctors follow a standard for you to follow for when to go to the birthplace. Most use the 5:1:1 rule (contractions 5 minutes apart for 1 minute for 1 hour) but follow the instructions of your provider and then let them do the rest of the time keeping when you arrive! “When you allow yourself to be immersed in labor, it is neither boring nor interesting, because the very nature of labor dissolves ordinary boundaries of time and space. You and labor become one. Timing your labor requires remaining conscious-of-self rather than being-in-labor” (England & Horowitz 1998). Presence: Having a doula allows you to step out of the room to make a quick call to update family if desired, use the bathroom, eat a sandwich etc... doing these things in front of your wife/partner during certain times in labor may make her lose concentration and increase pain. Pro tip: Turn off your phone Positive Words: Your wife/partner will feed off your energy. If you are calm, confident, strong, reassuring and patient, she will naturally be more relaxed, and labor will progress more smoothly and less painfully. The more you relax and lean into labor, the more she will be able to let go of control and release tension. It is hard to see the one you love in pain but know that the pain is purposeful. Try different positions, comfort measures, encouraging words, calm and strong back, hand, inner thigh, foot massages, singing to the baby, and match her breathing. If you notice she is making noises don’t discourage but allow her to express her emotions and sensations how they come naturally. Vocalizing in labor: In our culture, it is often frowned upon to be vocal in labor but often these noises are helpful in releasing tension, allowing the baby to move down, and to cope with the pain. Deep, guttural, low moaning/grunting/yelling are the most effective and should be encouraged. If you start to notice her voice rising in pitch or sounding more like screaming, she may be producing these from a place of fear, and this can make her tire out and have less effective contractions. On the next contraction, encourage her to make her voice deeper, you can try matching her sounds as well. Some women are introspective and quiet, some are loud, vocal, yelling, talking, all are natural and there is no ‘right’ way to act/be! Labor Project: Early in labor, it may be helpful to plan a fun activity together; strolling through Target (who doesn’t love Target, let’s be honest), washing & folding baby clothes, baking a birthday cake, gardening, maternity photo shoot, going for a walk through town etc. This can be a good distraction before labor really picks up and will help keep things moving and progressing using gravity. [There is a great chapter on this in the book Birthing from Within.] Join in: If she is walking, rocking, swaying, dancing- join in! Doing so may make her feel less alone and more supported. If she is drinking water, drink some water. Staying hydrated yourself will preserve your energy too. It’s easy to forget about yourself when you are focused on her! Drinking fluids will also remind her to keep hydrated; win-win! Watch & Wonder Her body was created to grow and birth your child. It has been shown that for women who are low risk, labor works best when allowed the freedom to unfold naturally. As the father/support person, your role is to watch, wonder, marvel at the rollercoaster of labor and birth, and support her in comforting ways. Having a doula and a medical provider (midwife or OB) who you trust allows you to relax a little, knowing you are on the same team. Choosing a Care Provider: Medical intervention during birth is very important in certain circumstances and we are lucky to have access to hospitals who can provide treatment when necessary. Unfortunately, many hospitals have policies that are standard practice for everyone, not just women who are at higher risk. Know that you always have a choice for interventions and educating yourself prior to labor will help you to make informed decisions. It is important to find a care provider who listens well and makes you feel comfortable asking questions. It is (almost) never too late to change to a different OB or choose a midwife! Midwives are skilled birth attendants who care for low-risk pregnant women who tend to allow birth to unfold naturally and only intervene when medically necessary, whereas many Obstetricians (OBs) are trained to be obstetric surgeons who perform Cesarean births. They also deliver most babies in the United States and because of their highly skilled training, tend to take a more medical approach to birth. In many other developed countries, midwives are more common than OBs for low-risk pregnant women. Depending on your preference in care, in some hospitals, you can choose to have an OB or Midwife as your provider. In many cities, there is a birthing center where midwives attend low risk births. If you are unsure why an intervention is being introduced, ask your provider for all the information you & your partner need to make an informed decision. Your doula is also there to support you in making an informed choice and help you to advocate for yourself- but does not make decisions for you or speak for you. General tips:
References: England, P., & Horowitz, R. (1998). Birthing from within: An extra-ordinary guide to childbirth preparation. Albuquerque, N. M: Partera Press.
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
May 2023
Tip:To see the blog posts from each month, click the links above under Archives. |