Doula Blog
All about Pregnancy, Birth, & Postpartum
As you prepare for your birth, it is just as important to envision how you will spend the first days and weeks postpartum. This is an exciting but demanding time and when planned for thoughtfully, you invite the possibility of feeling more rested, balanced and able to care well for your new little one. It is also a time of huge transition for fathers/partners and allowing for time to bond as a family gives everyone an opportunity to transition well. Your focus is on healing physically, bonding, nursing and resting. Partners often worry about how they can help, how they can bond with baby and what to do in the early postpartum days. Being present is the key. Being there to listen, support and comfort is essential. Partners can do this by preparing nourishing foods- or ideally heating up what lovely friends/family have prepared!, bringing hydrating drinks, and simply being an encouraging presence. Dads who do skin to skin reap so many benefits of bonding that mother’s experience! -that is another whole blog post though. I believe it is a beautiful, sacred time that has the power to transform your family just as much as the birth of your child does. Let’s dive in! This period is often called the fourth trimester because it is a time that requires deep rest and healing; physically, mentally and emotionally. Your body just created, grew and birthed your baby and placenta and it is important to honor your body and baby by giving yourself and your little one the best opportunity to flourish. Postpartum depression is highest in countries (including the US) who don’t encourage and support women in their time postpartum by allowing for rest. These high depression rates affect bonding, feeding, and overall ability to mother well and transition as a couple into parents. In chinese culture the first forty days postpartum is called the ‘sitting in’ period where the new mother is cared for with nourishing foods, oil massages, and warm teas. Her focus is to rest, heal, nurse and bond with her baby. This has been modified in recent years to gleam the essence of the rest period and value the importance of it while giving it a structure more conducive to families today. What is highly recommended by midwives today is called honoring the “5-5-5 Rule.” This is when women spend 15 days focusing on resting and getting to bond with and feed their newborns. Some people call this planning for their “baby moon.” Remember: It is not selfish to rest, you just birthed your baby and placenta and your uterus needs time to close and heal well. This is actually the kindest thing you can do for your baby! These are some examples of what this looks like and can be changed to suit your family best. 5 days in the bed: This is where you spend your first 5 days lying in bed focusing on resting, sleeping, skin to skin and nursing your baby. Ideally your partner (or another type of supportive person: mother, mother in law, doula etc) would bring you nourishing foods and plenty of water and teas to stay hydrated. You can read, watch TV and invite a few visitors if you’d like but keep the activities to a minimum. Don’t worry about getting up to shower (unless you feel up to it), your baby actually loves your natural smells and feels safe and warm in your arms. 5 days on the bed: This is time spent on the bed. You might start to sit up more, stretch a little bit, and do activities on the bed (puzzles, card games, etc). You can choose to move to the couch or chair but mostly resting. 5 days near the bed: Continue to take lots of time to sleep and have cuddle time skin to skin with your baby. This time is focused on resting as much as you feel like and being near bed to take naps frequently. You can start to go for short walks around the block but limit time standing to less than 30 minutes and listen to your body. You won’t be able to care well for your new baby if you aren’t healing physically and emotionally. This is a beautiful time and even two weeks of rest makes an enormous difference in your transition into motherhood and giving yourself and family the best opportunity to flourish. Resources: There are wonderful postpartum planning tools such as which I highly recommend to get you started in the planning phase! And as always, please read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth (2019) if you haven’t already. It will change your life! Postpartum Planning + Support Bundle | Beautiful One (beautifulonemidwiferysandiego.com) How to Make a Postpartum Plan (Plus a Free Template!) - Baby Chick (baby-chick.com) Book I recommend & my review: The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother (Ou, 2016) A sweet collection of wise advice from Chinese mothers passed along generations and refreshed into modern ways of balancing life as a new mother. The importance of rest, warmth, and nourishment in the first forty days was emphasized with loving stories and recipes. This book can be used as a tool for pregnant women and their support people to welcome the baby and new mother into the world. The tools in this book help to inspire you to think deeply about the sacredness of the first month postpartum and how asking for help and creating space to lay low with your baby is important for initial and life long mental and physical wellness. Overall a very soothing read 💕
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